During the summer before my senior year of college I worked for a sales company selling office supplies in New York City. Sounds like a pretty lame job right? Well aside from the 11 hour days and the fear I faced while walking around bad neighborhoods in Brooklyn, I regularly had pretty entertaining work days. It’s hard to explain to someone how selling office supplies door to door in New York City could be at all fun, but I’m going to give it a shot.
Lets start at day one. For my second round interview, I shadowed the person who would be my trainer if I was to be hired and, on that particular day, he was also training someone else. I went in with a really serious business attitude but ended up laughing hysterically with my interviewer as we purposely screwed up his current trainee’s sales by singing “The Final Countdown” and giggling as he tried to make his pitch. It was also on that day that I was introduced to a game that really helped me get through the summer. This is how the game works:
- Dramatically decrease your work ethic or stop working completely
- Look for funny looking people, businesses, signs, etc. while wandering around your sales territory
- Take picture of funny thing with phone
- Send picture to friend or colleague who you know will also be playing the game
I called it the “I feel like taking a 3-4 hour break” game. I generally kept away from taking pictures of people because they were all pretty scary and dangerous looking in Brownsville, Brooklyn. Thanks to this game however, I still have a few interesting pictures on my phone. Some favorites:
I Think Its Like Go-Gurt
Alright, lets break this first one down word by word.
Henna – I’m pretty sure those are the tattoos that last a few weeks, right?
‘n’ – slang for “and”
Placenta – I know this one, its the thingy that connects a fetus to the mother – wait, what?
Is this a tattoo? Is it a food? Do you put it in your hair? Is it some strange and disturbing form of birth control? Whatever it is, why is there some fetus connecty thingy in there? I don’t know, maybe I’m just not cultured enough to know what this is…and why was this next to the shampoos?
Eating lunch one day at a shady looking Chinese food place with a colleague of mine we came across this lovely looking piece of chicken. I believe he ordered chicken wings or chicken fingers…nice and simple. Would you eat this abomination if it were served to you? I would hope not. Does a deep fryer kill herpes?
Seriously, does that look like a finger or a wing to you?
The answer is no, it does not. Do you see it yet? Ill give you a hint.
It begins with “Chicken” and ends with “Vagina”
Need A Jerk?
How did the owner not realize how ridiculous the name of his business sounded? I hope his neighbors make fun of him. I can’t wrap my head around what strange and disturbing things must going on behind the doors of the Brooklyn Jerk Center.
Seriously, is this a center for jerks to hang out and exchange stories about their jerkness. Or does it involve a bunch of dudes sitting around using the internet for what it was invented for?
Whatever goes on inside, its got an 800 number, so you know this place is legit.