Archive for August, 2010

Somewhere in Uganda, Pastor Dr Martin Ssempa is very upset about gay rights…and “poo poo”. First of all, he needs to pick one title to his name and stick with it. I would go with the Dr. in this situation so people think what you’re saying is medical science and not just anti-gay religious ramblings. When you state your name as “Pastor Doctor” you just sound a little bit like you’re a showoff.

Aside from being a showoff, Pastor Dr Martin Ssempa is an avid follower of the “scare them straight” methodology of informing his followers. This involves showing images of people eating each other’s feces. I may not be gay, but I’m fairly this isn’t the standard Friday night of a gay couple.

I can’t take any credit for finding this, I saw it on Tosh.0, but its just so good I have to share it with everyone.

If Ssempa wanted to discourage homosexuality in the youth of his country, he probably shouldn’t have compared anal licking to eating ice cream.  Couldn’t he at least use big people words? Say feces or something, not “poopoo”. You sound like a 4 year old. For being a pastor-doctor, Ssempa doesn’t sound very educated. He also claims to have done research on “what homosexuals do in the privacy of their bedroom.” Accidentally going to dicks.com instead of dickssportinggoods.com does not count as research.

Anyway, I feel like I am taking away from what makes this video so good. He says poopoo alot and forcefully shows his colleagues pictures of people “poopooing” on each other. Job well done.

There is a good chance you’ve seen parts of this video before but its pretty sweet either way. These guys took something as intense and dangerous as basejumping to a whole new level of intensity and dangerousness.

Yeah, just strap some wings on a fly just a few feet from the ground and certain death. Aside from the clip in the beginning where the guy is literally three feet from the ground, this video is filled with intense moments. Some moments that immediately come to mind: dudes flying in between trees and dude flying in between two rock peaks. I would consider doing this if those mountains were made of something softer than rock…like styrofoam.

Before I begin ranting, you should know I only watched the trailer of this movie. But that was more than enough. I will not watch this movie and give anyone involved any credit with my hard earned graduation present money. If you are a hockey fan, it may be a better idea just to walk away at this point and not watch this trailer. Ignorance is bliss my friends.

Yeah, a musical about hockey. I was sure the Mighty Ducks movies were as innocent and friendly as a movie could make hockey look. I was very wrong. A MUSICAL about HOCKEY! Doesn’t anyone see how wrong that is? That is about as bad as making a mockumentary about the holocaust. This musical just might undo all the progress hockey made in the USA after the 2010 Olympics hockey game between Canada and United States. I encourage everyone everyone to track down the address of those involved in making this movie and send them strongly worded letters.

If anyone is interested in watching a good hockey movie, go rent or buy Slap Shot. It is widely accepted as the best hockey movie ever made.  If there is a hockey fan who disagrees please tell me what movie is better, I’d love to see it.

Credit to Squanto for bringing to atrocity to my attention.

Between 8th grade and senior year of high school I didn’t go anywhere without either a camera or my trusty camcorder for fear of missing some epic moment that could have been caught on film and laughed at later. The result of my obsession are some awesome pictures (one gem from that time featured below) and three Intensity Tour movies of my friends doing stupid things. Classics. Then I went to college, at which point every female carried at least one camera everywhere so I knew if something cool, funny or embarrassing happened it would immediately be tagged on Facebook and live on indefinitely. No need to carry my camera any longer.

The Gem: Justin at his best

Anyway, today was a wakeup call that I need to once again carry my camera everywhere I go. While taking my daily trip to Wegmans to pick up a delicious Arnold Palmer I saw no less than 6 emergency related vehicles on one of the side parking lots. Curious, I stroll over and ask a nice young African American boy, probably around 12 years old, whats going on. He says, “some lady drove her car into the pond!” To which I reply “Holy crap! That is awesome!” Then he says “hahaha yeah it is.” Then we chuckle together. Great kid.

Smack in the middle of the pond was a black car half submerged in water with a woman inside. Apparently she had been there for around 30 minutes while about twenty people looked on because he doors jammed and windows wouldn’t open. What I found funniest was the fact that she had her windshield wipers going while in the pond. How those worked while her windows didn’t is beyond me, but at least those wipers were keeping the pond off of her windshield. (more…)

The internet is a wonderful thing, isn’t it? It puts the entire world at your finger tips. It also creates celebrities out of completely random people regularly. If you haven’t heard, Antoine Dodson is the newest of these internet celebrities. His reaction to a break in and attempted assault at his house was priceless and spurred a song to be made and a follow-up interview by the news crew. Ah, the American dream at work.

So, if you haven’t heard or seen Mr. Dodson’s videos, here they are. If you have seen his videos….here they are anyway.

The original interview:

The Dodson-inspired song:

I’m not sure if its a bad thing that I can actually image this on the radio or MTV. Is that a compliment to whoever made this song and Antoine Dodson, or an insult to every other rapper?

The second interview:

Antoine Dodson: A testament to the American Dream.