Archive for the ‘Time Wasters’ Category

Internet People Are Weird

Posted: February 1, 2011 by MJS in General, Rant, Videos
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First, let me make it clear for the past 3 and a half months or so I’ve been employed. Sure, I understand that makes my blogs title entirely misleading but I’d like to think deep down inside, underneath my new cold hard shell of an 8-5 cubicle worker, I’m still a bum.

This is my life.

Now onto the reason for this return from silence. Today, out of curiousity I decided to log on and check out whats going on in my absence here. Mostly nothing. Except for the absolutely redonkidonk stats about how people end up here. Yes, redonkidonk (Re-donk-e-donk). I plan using that word at work tomorrow to describe my “daily margin report”. Here are some statistics you may find both interesting and disturbing:

  • The most used search engine term to find The Unemployed Graduate: “Naked Elf”
  • The second most used search engine term to find The Unemployed Graduate: “Tiger in Jungle”
  • In the last 30 days, 155 people searched for “naked elf“, “woman riding horse”, “butterfly elf”, “elf vagina”, or some combination of the aforementioned.
  • My favorite search engine terms used: “nekede pictur in leady” and “rhino testicles”

 

I tried my best to make a site about how sweet it is to be unemployed, only to end up with elf smut. Damn. Well, when life gives you naked butterfly lemons…

Anyway, enjoy this awesome video a friend of mine showed me while I was still unemployed. It involves all of your favorite fast food mascots enjoying a nice night of alcohol, recreational drunk use, and strippers. Its pretty redonkidonk. Warning: contains alcohol, recreational drug use, and strippers.

Video Of The Day: The Uppercut To End All Uppercuts

Posted: September 23, 2010 by MJS in Time Wasters, Videos
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If you are male, this video will be hilarious. If female, proceed with caution.

Aside from the fact that the punch looks painful, I find the guy in the video relatively toolish. Why do you have facial hair modeled after Kevin Federline’s and why are you holding your beer around the neck like an ass? You…..ass.

Picture Of The Week: Rhino Kick

Posted: September 17, 2010 by MJS in Pictures, Time Wasters
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Once in a great while a picture comes along that truly speaks to us as human beings. A particular came through my mailbox last week was one of these said pictures. Aside from my primary needs of food, water, clothing and shelter, my secondary needs include explosions, crazy electric guitar and occasionally a fight with an animal larger than myself. This picture fulfills all of my secondary needs and somehow, almost miraculously, I no longer feel the needs for food or water whilst I gaze upon its awesomeness. So, here it is…

Take that, Rhino!

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America’s Bread Basket

Posted: September 10, 2010 by MJS in Time Wasters, Videos
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This is exactly what I want the people who grow our food to be doing…wearing it on their naked bodies. I know we don’t eat hay, but imagine the things he has done to the food that has a soft center. Yeah.

I really though as he jumped into the giant farm machine we were never going to see him again. Instead of a bale of hay coming out with naked farmer in the middle of it I expected to see just chopped up bits of farmer. Oh well, maybe next time.

On my way back from Long Island right now, the Unemployed Graduate just had a JOB INTERVIEW…weird. Off to upstate then to Ohio to see an Ironman Triathalon my uncle is racing in. These people are nuts. Go swim 2.4 miles through choppy water while everyone around you is slapping you in the face and grabbing your ankles. Fun? Ok, now ride your bike 112 miles. Wow, you must be tired. Tough shit, its time to run a marathon now, 26.2 miles. Are you dead yet?

Time Waster Website

Posted: September 8, 2010 by MJS in Time Wasters
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Remember when you could play a video game and not hear some 11 year old kid calling you a “noob” over the internet? A time when everyone had a Nintendo amidst a tangle of controller cords on their living room floor? It was a wonderful time, wasn’t it? Great news, you can relive all of those fond childhood memories right where your sitting.

This website has no less that 100 Nintendo games, all playable right within your browser.  I can’t in good conscience keep this to myself.

nintendo8.com = awesome time waster and productivity killer (click image to link to website)

Click the image to link to the website. 6 Mega Man games, a few Bomber Man, Mario, Zelda, Paperboy, Contra, Metroid and a personal favorite Blades of Steel are a few names to tickle your fancy. This website will honestly destroy your work day/week. Enjoy!

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