First, let me make it clear for the past 3 and a half months or so I’ve been employed. Sure, I understand that makes my blogs title entirely misleading but I’d like to think deep down inside, underneath my new cold hard shell of an 8-5 cubicle worker, I’m still a bum.
Now onto the reason for this return from silence. Today, out of curiousity I decided to log on and check out whats going on in my absence here. Mostly nothing. Except for the absolutely redonkidonk stats about how people end up here. Yes, redonkidonk (Re-donk-e-donk). I plan using that word at work tomorrow to describe my “daily margin report”. Here are some statistics you may find both interesting and disturbing:
- The most used search engine term to find The Unemployed Graduate: “Naked Elf”
- The second most used search engine term to find The Unemployed Graduate: “Tiger in Jungle”
- In the last 30 days, 155 people searched for “naked elf“, “woman riding horse”, “butterfly elf”, “elf vagina”, or some combination of the aforementioned.
- My favorite search engine terms used: “nekede pictur in leady” and “rhino testicles”
I tried my best to make a site about how sweet it is to be unemployed, only to end up with elf smut. Damn. Well, when life gives you naked butterfly lemons…
Anyway, enjoy this awesome video a friend of mine showed me while I was still unemployed. It involves all of your favorite fast food mascots enjoying a nice night of alcohol, recreational drunk use, and strippers. Its pretty redonkidonk. Warning: contains alcohol, recreational drug use, and strippers.