Review Of The Week: Arizona Drinks

Posted: June 22, 2010 by eg in Reviews
Tags: , , ,

A couple days ago my good friend Justin returned to Rochester unexpectedly and, although the circumstances of his return kinda blew, it was good to have him back nonetheless.  Last night, Justin, our mutual friend Joe, Justin’s younger brother Nick and I got together to drink and discuss Arizona beverages. Yeah it sounds pretty lame but it was a Monday night and i’m fairly confident that there wasn’t anything else fun going on.

As a side note, Justin’s brother insists that people should spell his name N-i-c, not N-i-c-k.  I think thats hilarious.  He’s in that emo music/skater/stoner stage in high school so I kinda understand what he is going for.  I had a few people calling me Mark early in my freshman year of high school, not to be cool, but because I just decided to lie about my name for a week.  The problem is that Nic and Nick are pronounced the same, so nobody knows, or cares for that matter, that you cut a letter out of your first name unless you write it on a piece of paper for them.  “K” was the coolest letter in his name anyway, if I had to cut a letter out of my name it would never be the “K”.  Maybe the “I” because vowels are lame.  Shame on you, Nicholas.

Back to the review.  We went to the nearest grocery store and picked up the first five Arizona’s we saw.  The ratings are an average of our 4 individual ratings in each category. The categories are:

Taste: How good is that first sip?

Drinkability:  Could you drink more than one can of it and how does it sit in your stomach?

Can Design:  Does the can make you want to buy the drink and does it fit the the taste?

Cost:  …how much does it cost?

Arizona Lemon Tea

Taste:  3

Drinkability: 4.1

Can Design:  2.5

Cost:  5

Final Score: 3.7

Final Thoughts/Memorable Quotes:  General response was positive. We described it as light, balanced and refreshing but felt that the can was a bit dull.

Arizona Sweet Tea

Taste: 1.8

Drinkability: 1

Can Design: 4.1

Cost: 5

Final Score: 2.9

Final Thoughts/Memorable Quotes:  Described as southern, bland, heavy, and “cotton picking boring.” The can design did make Justin and Joe think of slavery for some reason so they felt that it fit the southern feel to the drink.  Overall feeling was that it taste like feces.

Arnold Palmer

Taste: 4.8

Drinkability:  4.4

Can Design: 5

Cost: 5

Final Score: 4.8

Final Thoughts/Memorable Quotes: Scrumptious, retarded good, instaboner, perfect for summer, “hole-in-one”, and timeless.  This stuff is like drinking straight from the teet of a god.

Green Tea

Taste: 2.1

Drinkability: 1.4

Can Design: 2.9

Cost: 4.8

Final Score:  2.8

Final Thoughts/Memorable Quotes: We apparently do not like green tea.  It was so bad one of us gave it a 4 on cost even though it cost $1 just like the rest of them.  It was described as a toothless bite, “I feel sick”, digestive problems, Drain-o, and it gets worse every sip.  It was really summed up with this quote about the can design: “Ohhh, its green tea so it must be made by Asian people. Lets put cherry blossoms and Asian letters on it, ching chang chong…racist can designers.”  Unless you’re really into green tea, I’d stay away from this one.

Arizona Half Iced Tea & Half Raspberry

Taste: 4.4

Drinkability: 3.4

Can Design:  2

Cost: 5

Final Score: 3.7

Final Thoughts/Memorable Quotes:  It tastes awesome. So good that Justin said he would have sexual intercourse with it.  The issue came with it’s drinkability, it was just too much raspberry taste for it to be enjoyable in the long run.  A little unbalanced.

In conclusion, go out right now and buy an Arnold Palmer.  They are stupendous. Raspberry was a close second but drink it slow to enjoy it.  Lemon Tea: meh, its enjoyable. Half & Half Tropical, Half & Half Mango are two other flavors I know to be pretty awesome.

So, Arizona, if you are reading this, I’ll take my free stuff now, I just wrote a pretty decent review of you drinks. Also can you send me a Peach Iced Tea? They’re my favorite and I cant find them anywhere here in Rochester, I even texted KGB to find me a can but they blew it.  I’m gonna go buy an Arnold Palmer. Goodbye.

  1. Katherine says:

    This was highly educational…..I would have voted that the Lemon was the best

  2. Brick says:

    Mike… I just bookmarked this page at work, so im expecting bi-daily, daily, or ill settle for every-two-daily updates… i didnt know how to say update once every two days in the same fashion as the other two… sorry

    • Delma says:

      I work out of a call center doing Pay Per Click Management, we are a cmpoany called TextLinkBrokers and we do all kinds of search engine marketing. We are located in Arizona and have our corporate website: textlinkbrokers.comcheck it out if you need some help with SEMThanks,-Jesse James References : Me, Myself, and I

  3. The AZ Team says:

    Hey, Nice review. E-mail us and we’ll hook you up with some AriZona goodies.

  4. Nick says:


    First, it’s spelled, “AriZona” with a big ‘Z’.

    Second, wtf is up with the diet Arnold P. being stocked at all the stores? For some time, it has been difficult to get my hands on some decent, sugary drinks. However, I NEVER thought the “DIET” craze would hit the sacred Arnold Palmer.

    AriZona needs to educate consumers about all the health benefits to some good old sugar and high-fructose corn syrup! What do they want us to do? Sustain ourselves on 99cents worth of nuts and roughage?!

  5. Philip says:


    You voted my favorite two AriZona iced tea drinks as the worst ones. For this I must say keep your taste to yourself and fuck off.

    I must also add that I was charged $2.00 for a can of AriZona today, do you know of any way to report this to the AriZona people? Any help will do…

    See you soon,

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