A Man, A Call, A Horse – Legal Questions!

Posted: July 10, 2010 by eg in General, Rant
Tags: , , ,

I received a phone call a few days ago from my brother while he was driving to his home in Massachusetts .  Usually, when he calls while driving its because he is bored and he just rambles on about things like lasers and rock climbing (you can see his complete ramblings about rocks and climbing here).  During this particular phone call he was very worked up about a big advertisement he saw on the side of the road and how I should be writing about owning a horse and what life would be like if you had a horse instead of a car.  I payed little attention to this particular rant at the time because I was driving a Lotus Evora (digitally, in a video game).

Lotus Evora

A Horse

Side note: When I am a billionaire I’m going to buy one of those cars and paint it metallic purple, just like the one I own in the video game.

Anyway, I was really bored today and my brain started wandering back to that phone call.  I thought “did someone decide one day that we cant ride horses anymore and only cars?  And, if so, when did this happen?” Lets say, hypothetically, that I owned a horse and rode it to the supermarket to pick up some groceries.  While I was inside buying cheese for myself and some carrots for Lance (the horse), he pooped in my parking spot.  Is it my responsibility to pick up the poop?  If your car leaks some oil while its parked do you pick it up?  Oil is bad for the environment, poop is not.  Now should I be picking up that poop, or should someone be thanking Lance and I for our gift?

What laws regulate horse usage? As far as I know you don’t need to take any courses or get a license to legally be allowed to ride a horse.  If you’re drunk and you ride a horse home from the bar, can the police pull you over?  It isn’t a motor vehicle, Lance is a living creature, with feelings.  Lets say they pull me over for RHWI (Riding a Horse While Intoxicated).  However, riding right behind me is my friend Justin, only he is riding a great dane.  Does he get a ticket too? Are there laws regulating all animal related rides home?  Where do they draw the line on animal related transportation crimes? If you cant ride a great dane, can I ride some sort of jungle cat, or an ostrich? What if a well trained chimp carried me in his arms all the way home? All valid questions.

Next time a job asks me if I have reliable transportation to get to work I will say “Yes, I own a horse.”  Can they refuse my employment on the grounds that I’m so nonconformist I ride a horse to work instead of a car? Is that legal?

If anyone has any information regard horse law, I would be grateful if some of my questions are answered. This will likely be the last time I rant about horses.

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Comments
  1. Nick says:

    Mike,

    I’m blown away by the thorough legal analysis you provided. Indeed, all valid questions.

    I will be forwarding this post to my legal department to see if these issues have been addressed in any recent statutes or case law.

    I’ll keep you posted.

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